Treasures at the Flea Market

Intention: Celebrate life in community.

Today Andrea and I went to the Antique Flea Market. We went looking for ephemera for art and journal making. I was up for some type of adventure and when Andrea asked me to join her I jumped at the chance. Then I remembered I needed to meet her at 5am to be there by 6am to get the best "stuff". I am not the morning person. I create my best stuff at night amongst the silence and the stillness of my home. Mornings are sleeping times, snuggle times, times to lay there and listen to my dreams. But I made a different committment this morning...a comittment to adventure and all good adventures start with a challenge of sorts. Mine was getting up and driving 20 min to meet Andrea for coffee and the hour drive to the flea market.

When we arrived everyone was setting up shop. There were old things and new things. There were big bins of junk and bags of cleverly disguised treasures. I am not the deal person so the first item I liked I paid full price with out haggling. By the end of the fair I was working my deals like a pro. I got glass jars from $15 down to $3.

I came home with a variety of goodies:
- Several vintage photographs of children for collage
- 3 glass jars to hold water for painting.
- Some large wooden stamps.
- Block printing letters for stamping
- Some door knobs for some CD drawers in my office.

I love each one...the are the treasures from my flea market adventure.

Intention
I feel great and I show it...so you know it!

Today
Today was great. I slept well and ate well and I'm satisfied. Lots of things happend today that might have disappointed me or lead me in a negative thought spiral...but I feel so good...so satisfied that many of these things seem fun or isolated to the person its coming from. There is a power here I have never felt before. A friend turned me on to a book called "the Diet Cure" and I have been adding the right vitamins and supplements to my diet and I feel way better. Even those things that would annoy me before...dont now. Its really nice.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 27

Intention
Patient Acceptance

Today
I went to meditation with a friend a few days ago. First I want to say how honored I was that he invited me to his sacred practice. I felt so welcomed and special. Second I want to share that I surrendered my " I know everything" mode and allowed myself to see everything newly and guess what ...I learned something. I remembered how powerful and simple meditation can be. I often don't meditate because I don't feel set up to meditate...my altar is not clear...my home is cluttered...I don't have enough time. I remembered all it takes is 5 min.

I slept great that night and I meditated on my own today ... at my altar with a fresh new intention. I sat there in front of the most sacred things I own and all the items I have collected for years and I listened to the sound of my breath. I listened to the sounds of birds. I listened quietly to the silence. I listened. Then the words came, the solutions came, the insights came. There was alot spirit needed to say and all was shared. I listened. I journaled.
It can be that simple...sit and listen...and the wisdom comes.

100 Day Challeng + Season 8 + Day 18

Intention
Giving up Overstanding

Today
I heard the word ... "Overstand" in a poem a friend wrote today. I began to think of all the places where "overstanding" got in the way of my ability to see...be a space for the manifestation of a solution. The wasted time spinning my wheels...figuring out...trying to capture something...get to the truth...or some explaination. The lack of forward motion while I tried to figure it all out...get to the bottom of...find a good reason for. I now have a word for all of that..."overstanding".

Now I can see there is power in knowledge...but "overstanding" can be a block to progress. So today. I am moving in my day...past "overstanding"...past hope... with an appreciating and joyfull anticipation of my goal. Bring a joyful space of recieving and giving Love.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 16

Intention
Being Powerful

Today
I got this message today from a co-worker. One of those joky jokes about how funny it is that women of a certain age look wrinkly, flabby, and nasty when they get old. As I read it I was struck with one thing...that is NOT my reality. It is not a given that I will age and look terrable in the process...deteriorating to this ugly blob of skin and boobs. That is not a given. I dont even think its funny to even give that point of view room in my space, my mind, my body, my anything!

Normally I would delete it...but today I didnt. I wrote a note back ...saying I reject that point of view and I gave and image of a woman who ages with grace and ease...Lena Horne! I was saying "Nope! that is not my point of view". The response was swift and funny. They wanted me to know it was a joke and why did I have to respond to everyone about it. Well...my love...because everyone got the message that being ugly older is some kind of norm and its not...at least not with me.

I may be over reacting but I mean it...some place you have to draw the line. You have to say...that is not the conversation for the life I am in. You can have what ever conversation you want for your life...but that is not my reality. I need you to know that. I am not going into agreement with you about it...I'm not participating in that...I reject that notion...and I mean it!

Here is what is really under my skin. I hate women putting themselves down. Its a big pet peeve for me. I hated it when I saw my mom and her sisters do it to each other as kids. I hate it when I see it among my girlfriends.

Here's the bottom line...Why do we support conversations for our own distruction? Would that message have spread through the internet if it was uplifting and powerful to womens body image? If it said ..I love my gray hair, my curvy hips, my mature face, I love me at any age? I don't think so! I think it made its way round because enough women relate to it to keep it moving. They see themselves in that. I am saying no...I don't see me in that and the buck stops here!

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 15

Intention

Have my clarity be the guide for my actions

Today

There is something about music that is so profoundly powerful for me. I have learned that when something speaks to me deeply I look up the lyrics. I know there is something in the lyrics that is speaking to me. I couldnt understand what the songstress was saying but the melody got me. I felt a connection...after reading these words I have a clue as to why this song is so powerful for me today.

Sit Still, and close your eyes
What’s behind the other door
No more silence, don’t kill this thing we got called love
Just searching for the perfect drug

When Love comes calling
Don’t look back
When love comes calling
Don’t look away

And I’m standing over here
Watching you over there
Smiling, happy, unaware
Oh, life is spinning round
You’re going underground, forgetting who we were
Let’s try and keep it just one more day

You take your love
And throw it all around
Like it’s nothing special
Just a sound
Let me say one more thing
I don’t think you realize
That a day is like a year sometimes

Intention
Being Forgiven

Today
Today I saw a way to do what I think is right to have everyone win. I offered the solution. I spoke up. I found my voice. I took the action and then went for a lovely walk in the woods with Christine. We stood in the middle of big old trees and made secret happy wishes. We looked closely at the tree bark, looked inside of old trees and took pictures of flowers. We talked out all of our daily, weekly , worldly stories until we could talk no more and suddenly we saw something new and freeing .. a new possibility. We were free and happy and grateful. Suddenly we began to celebrate the successes. We high-fived our victories. We laughed. We Laughed. We laughed. Suddenly we were out of the woods.

We ate at a wonderful vegetarian restaurant. The food was sooo delicious!

Today was a wonderful day!



Then I saw this news cast and I felt so inspired! Today is an extra special day.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 9

Intention
Good friends do great things together!

Today
I have been thinking about a documentary I saw on current tv about unusual jobs and they were featuring a woman called "Hoop Girl" who is a professional hoola hooper in San Francisco. I was facinated by her story of how she created an empire around making hooping hip. She talked about how when she is hooping she goes in to a trance state and really connects with the audience at her club performances. She called it "Hoop-gasim". Something within me resonated with that vibe. Something within me said a great big "hell YES".

It started me thinking. What is the question I want most to answer in my work with clients, my art and my legacy. What came back is a resounding "Self Acceptance, Self Appreciation, Self Cheerleading, Self Celebrating". I want all the things I do to provide for my clients an acceptance of themselves, you are who you are, you like what you like and you dont like what you dont like. I want people to accept that in themselves and the great wisdom that is for each person. I want to support them in navigating around the world that may not (at times) accept that. I want to support them in creating a world for themselves that appreciates who they are as they are and doesn't relate to them as who they are not.

That's why I love SoulCollage. Its the first modality that I have found that allows me to express who I am as I am and allows me to see the wisdom in the parts I called bad..not nice...evil.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 5

Intention
Forgive and be confident

Today
I have been working through the pages of my franklin covey planner creating my goals for the next 12 months. It asked at the beginning who do I want to become and I realized that I want to be more forgiving...not really of other people..but towards myself. To accept my humanity and let it go when I am not perfect. There are a few things this week that came up that reminded me. I get to have my life go the way I want...and I can forgive myself for not being really graceful with people when I do that. Forgive myself for not pleasing everyone. That has been a challenge over the years. Where I am today is a really powerful place that I cant please everyone and I am someone who will try. It gets me all mixed up but that is human. I can forgive myself for being waaayyy to focused on making other people happy. That feels sooo freeing!

So here is a video about art and play and creativity. When I am creating I am free. I dont care what people think. I do it because it makes me happy. I dont care if I sell anything.. I dont care if people get it. I just create. When I have no more room I sell my work or give it way ...but I make room and buy more supplies and create more!

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 100++

Intention
To be the giggling peacock...family is everything! My life joyful, prosperous and gloriously flamboyant! I have what I want with grace and ease.

Today
I finished my 100th day of Season 7 a week ago and I have been to busy doing other things to complete the season and create a new season. But I have done great for 700+ days of being intentional and I am not going to stop now. So following tradition its time to reflect on the last season, acknowledge myself and create a new season.

At the core of what I value in life is Faith, Love and Power.

Theme Song for this Season: "Say what You need to say" John Mayer


What I said I would do and what I actually did?

Launch a Online Workshop
At the begining of the series I said I would launch an online workshop and workbook.
What I did was launch 2 new classes. I now have the material to create an online workshop.
I also found all the tools I need to launch the online workshop. I'm in development now.

Be Married
At the begining of the series I said I would be married. Well that didnt happen. I didnt think it would be possible but I wanted to wish it anyway. The one thing I did do is get serious about only giving attention to men who where ready for a relationship and giving myself the freedom to know they are out there. I also got clear that what I really want is an abundance of really great dates so I can know from experience what I'm looking for. I realized I dont really know what I need...I know what I want but not really want I need in a relationship. Funny thing is my Ex-BF's are buzzing around now. So maybe reflecting there would be a start.

What I learned in Season 7

My faith is my gift to others
I have a very strong faith. I'm not talking about religion...I'm talking about knowing that there is a GOD/Life Force that is loving and constantly is bringing me my good. Its grounded heavily in experiences I have had in the past and challenges that I have come through. I never doubt that there is a GOD watching over me, guiding me, advising me.

But until this season... I never knew that people around me look to me for my faith and they love and admire me for that. This season I had so many conversations and experiences with other people around faith, prayer, angels, GOD, miracles, and blessings. It has been amazing. I get these great calls from my friends with miracles they want to share, "woo woo" stuff that happened to them, miracles. It is soo great to see people seeing that the universe is communicating with them...co-creating with them and its interactive.

I've learned through this to share my faith more openly, pray for people when they need it and allow Spirit to guide me on what to say to them.

Femininity is powerful!
I learned just how powerful femininity is in the world. I am such a girly girl...soo being anything but a full on girly girl is so inauthentic for me. But I do it sometimes ...when I'm scared, don't like something or insecure. Its my little protective posture. This season I learned how unproductive that way of being is and tiring (it takes so much energy to be the man-me). I was so much more powerful just relaxing and being my girlyself. I got more done and got more sleep.

- To get in touch with my femininity I took Zumba once a week. I really helped me burn off some steam and get rid of any suppressed anger so I could be myself.


I learned to ask for more from life
I have always had a tendency to have high hopes and low expectations of other people. I never asked for what I needed from others. I have been loyal to the point of my own neglect. This season that sucker turned around. Something in me snapped in to place. I realized I deserve so much more and I deserve more in some of my relationships. I started saying what I needed. I started putting my attention on things that mattered to me and made me happy. Yes some people didn't like it. Yes there were times I felt guilty for doing it. Yes there were times that I felt the need to see if people still liked me...but I did what I needed to do..said what I needed to say and made things happen.I got my needs met . I feel more confident asking for what I need from people and allowing them to support me. The result is amazing.

- I did my first photo shoot
- I went to countless theme parties and got dressed to the 9's
- I upgraded some of my electronic equipement
- I reconnected with old work buddies and graduate school friends
- I started the development of an eCourse
- I lead to workshop series and met great new students.
- I went to the Spa a few times with the girls.

I've decided to have some professional photos taken of me for my business and other uses. This time I have hired a top photographer and solicited my friend Michelle to be the creative director. Today we meet to go over the details, work out poses, location, make-up, dates...I have never gone through this much detail to get this done. I feel like a fish out of water...so I am so greatful for Michelle and John. They know what they are doing and I trust them completely. I just want to make sure to do my part and get the clothing, hair and makeup professionally done.

So I went to the mall to try on outfits and send to Michelle for ideas.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 95

Intention
See the signs...the universe it talking.

Today
Yesterday I came home and noticed the way these two trees make a cross right in my line of vision when I leave the house each day. I have left my house everyday for years but never noticed this before. Its right there...a blessing over me, my house and all those who dwell there. I went to Catholic high school and college ...but I dont really consider myself catholic. I just know alot of the traditions since I spent so much time around the religion. I noticed this cross on Ashe Wednesday...marking the 40 days of lent before easter.

What all this means I have no idea...but I was wonderful to leave for work today to see the sign of the cross. I felt like I was getting a blessing for joy and peace. I felt protected and felt my home was being blessed and protected too.

So the signs are everywhere...I am blessed and protected.

So today I go forward with confidence...to enjoy my day and do things that make me happy.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 92

Intention
It's not always my fault

Today
I had some freedom show up in the last few days. A friend misinterpreted the meaning of what I said and was upset. I felt confused and guilty ... like I did something wrong even though I didnt know what. I explained my point of view, up one end and down the other. She is still upset. Then it hit me...she is choosing to be upset. And you know what?...I cant fix that for her. I know what I meant and I explained what I meant. Thats all I can do. The rest is up to her. I let that go today and turned my attention to other things that need my attention.

Later today I got an intuative hit to call as friend and she shared some amazing things going on in her life. We celebrated. We cried. We laughed. It was delightful. I felt warm and alive. I felt the victory..I felt truly happy.

Then tonight on the Housewives of New York City (I love that show) ...there was a scene where an older woman was sharing with a younger woman about life..."life passes in a minute, then seconds" she said "You deserve to be happy...don't need to be a tortured soul".

I took that to heart.

Deep down if I had a magic wand I would make everyone happy and make everyone's dreams come true. But that's not how it works...people choose happiness or misery and that's that. What there is, is for me to choose happiness and attend to that...no matter what.

So ... I choose to...

dwell in happiness
dwell with those who dwell in happiness
I am happy.
Amen!

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 91

Intention
Make lists and check things off!

Today
Its our first day back to work after a week off. It was a great week. I managed to jump start my side business and spend time with friends. I'm more like an ansamble cast than a solo artist so I took lots of time to get together with friends to chat and do things. I caught up with my sleep and I cleaned up some of the spots in my home I have long since forgotten.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 85

Intention
Visit, Be and Play

Today
First of all I'd like to say how excited I am when a new person joins my journey on this blog...and allows me to follow their journey...welcome Kristi!. If you haven't done it before you can follow other blogs in the "followers" link on the right side ot this blog. I'm not a fan calling people followers...you guys are more like my tribe. Fellow travelers in life. Welcome!

Its the first official day of our company shut down week for cost savings. I let myself sleep in late and got up to clear out my office. Its so funny how cleaning my office was so easy...I needed to use it. So I guess the more I use it the easier it will be to keep it clean. That is the way it is for many of the rooms in my house. When I use the rooms they stay clean...or I have more incentives to keep it clean. I hate working in clutter.

I used my new space to work on my finances...I worked with an accountant for a year and then I stopped doing what she said to do last year. So I forgave myself for doing that and just got back in action doing what I need to do today. It was surprisingly easy. I'm not expecting to do it all at once. I made a list and I did what I needed to do so far. If I want to do extra thats ok but I don't need to do extra.

So I cleared my office and worked on an art piece I have promised a friend I would complete for her wedding gift. Its been 3 months and last night I almost finished one. Its beautiful and it took me all night to really be with the image and work and bringing out the essence. Art for me is like this silent conversation with God. There are times when I'm painting when I feel like something else is guiding me. There are times when I want to give up or when I feel like I need to add something. I have learned those times are the times to walk away until the inspiration hits.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 78

Intention
I have faith to share

Today
Something is opening, unfolding, expanding in me. Something I can hardly explain in words. I have turned some kind of abundant prosperity corner and its all flowing to me. I feel very much in the flow. Very much like things are happening as it should.

I was with a friend, this weekend, who asked me how it is that I was so certain of my faith. I had to think a while an then I told her I have a personal relationship with the Divine. I know there is a GOD because I have experienced the grace of GOD. I experience GODs grace so often I dont question his presence. I began to tell her stories of things that happened to me over the year that could only be the hand of GOD at work in my life. As I told each story I felt more vibrant and alive. Then I realized I could bring that way of expressing myself to the workshops I teach. I decided to stop calling myself a teacher and take on being a leader...someone who leads conversations that restore people to thier faith. That restores hope in people.

In the past I thought what there was was to show people how figured out I am...but the real inspiration is knowing how I have over come my humanity. I am human like everyone else...and I may fall short sometimes...but I have learned to have a power over those things that take me away from compassion, generosity and faith.

So the last few days have been amazing...more participants are registering for classes, I feel more productive than I ever have at work, I have some great dating prospects on the horizon. All is well in my world and I love it.

What a Girl Wants: Moody's Mood for Love by King of Pleasure

I would love an original recording of Moody's Mood for Love by King of Pleasure. I just love this jazz song. I have always felt emotion and authenticity of this song. I just love it. I think I would like the CD with the original recording since I no longer have a turn table.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 73

Intention
I'm Here

Today
I have another blog for my business and I have been spending alot of time creating things for that blog that I forgot this one. It took a message from a friend saying "here you are!" that jolted me back. So if you've been wondering where I am...I'm here!

Yesterday I got a big box of Shari's Berries from my friend just "because" (dont you just love that!). These berries are wonderful and covered in thick chocolate. I ate one and boxed everything up and put it in the fridge. Then a few hours later I did that again. By midnight I had eaten all 12! I have no idea how many points that is but it was soo good going down. Yes it was excessive and indulgent and it made me feel a little sick later. But I kept eating them. I know I am not the only one that does that. So today is about balance. I will eat more veggies this week and drink more water and I will savor the memory of such a delightful treat!

Intention
Do what you know to do and get to doin' it.

Today
I've been up really late tonight cleaning up some of my websites and fixing old things. I'm a night owl this week I have so many ideas after 10pm. There is something about this silence. I'm yawning but I still keep going.

Intention
My heart is open

Today
I am obsessed with the TV series The Tudors. I purchased both seasons and now I want to go to Ireland. Not just because the last guy I dated was from limerick but because I love the music and culture. There is something so wonderful and rich about it. It really inspires me.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 56

Intention
I live a BIG life

Today
I spent the weekend at Diana's house and with all of my friends. I made new friendships and deepened long standing ones. It was a delight. All of these ladies have done really well. Lovely homes. Great relationships. Wonderful families. Its really wonderful. I have come a long way from seeing that and being jealous, avoiding them, trying to find something wrong. I know nothing is perfect or looks as it seems...but these women are truely happy and blessed and I can see it. I am happy for them. I am happy for me too. They are doing well and so Am I. All of this is showing me that I am ready for an even bigger life... prosperity, living environment, car...more...I am ready and I deserve it...I am fully prepared and I have everything I need to take it on. I have EVERYTHING and EVERYONE I need to make it happen...starting now.

Intention
I know my needs...its ok.

Today
My dear friend Diana planned a wonderful weekend for the girls at her house this weekend. We spent the day shopping and having lunch in a fine restaurants. We went for a lovely dinner at a friends house and then we went to the city for dancing. We got back at 5am. The next day we when to a beautiful restaurant for breakfast. The rest of the day was spent at the spa.

Intention:
If you look for what you don't want you will get it.
So I look for what I want today.
I get that.
What I want.

Today
Today was wonderful. I love my office mates. We have such a great connection and friendship. We are like a tiny family. Every morning when I come in I make sure to say good morning to the ladies around me and then we chat a bit (if its not too busy) about the morning...or what we saw on TV that night. We really connect with each other and not just on the business level but on a personal basis. I love that.

Today my co-worker announced his wife will have their baby in 31 days. I felt like the department was having a baby. We started the bets for what day the baby will be born and It created such excitement in the office. Even some of the team that doesn't usually participate in these games...joined in the fun.

There is something about a baby and wedding proposals that brings such life to life. Its like I can feel the excitement for possibility. What will the baby look like? What will their life be like? In both occasions something new is being born into life...a baby and a marriage (maybe a possibility of babies and more life). There is something wonderfully exciting about life being brought into life. Something pure, rich and vibrant. Something new and unknown. It is all very exciting.

So cheers to everyone who is expecting a baby and cheers to everyone who has just received a proposal for marriage. What a delight you are and what possibilities you have inspired...thank you!

Intention
I see joy and possibilities

Today
This video makes me sooooo happy! The guy is a "hot dad" type I love. The english accent is dreamy. His humor is soooo cute and light and playful. I just love it. I could watch this over and over again.

Intention
Acceptance

Today
I had a conversation with my Mom today. She's been a bit upset, my brother is looking for work and having a hard time finding something in this economy (send a little prayer for him with me please). As a mom, she always wants to fix our problems. She likes to be able to pick-up a phone make a few calls and get the problem solved. That's how she did it most of our lives. We would want something and it wouldn't work out and she would call someone and fix it so we got what we wanted. I used to rebel against that. I always wanted to do it myself...without her help. I wanted the joy of getting it myself. That used to drive her crazy. I wouldn't tell her stuff so she wouldn't go jumping in and fixing it. One time my boyfriend broke up with me and she wanted to call him to patch things up. She was like Hollywood stage mom.

When she was growing up, maybe she felt nobody could fix things for her...so when she had kids she vowed to fix things for her kids. Its how she expresses love. What I don't like is what she does to herself when she can't fix things. When she gets frustrated and she can't fix things for us she does not take good care of her health, She doesn't get enough sleep or eat what she should. It worries me. It's like she makes herself sick over it. I worry so much about her. I worry about my dad trying to take care of her when she gets like that. I wish she would find healthier ways of taking care of herself when she gets like that.

Tonight I was talking to her and I had this weird feeling. I noticed that I was an adult supporting my mom. I am supporting her like I would any friend in crisis. In those moments, she was not the mommy that held me in her arms ... she was a woman ... vulnerable, frustrated and helpless. It was kind of scary for me. I felt like I was free falling in space.

I was glad to give the support. I am glad for the deepening of my own experience of intimacy with her. I am also not completely at ease with being this much of an adult. Its wild to say that on the other side of 40 but I really felt the adult thing kick in today.

I feel a little tossed and tumbled...maybe even a bit disoriented but I accept it. There is a whole new world on the other side of this... a whole new world.

December 30, 2008 Cavallo Point













January 5, 2009 San Juan Batista

Intention
God's tryin' to tell me something..."What do I want, I want, I want..."

Today
I just rented "The Women" On Demand TV. It was wonderful. I love a good chick flick when its raining outside. I did a little organizing, brewed some tea and enjoyed the movie curled up with warm blankets. I even had on my wonderful fur cuffed socks I got for Christmas. The movie gave me lots to laugh about and lots to consider. There was this part in the movie where the main character put the words. "What do I want?" on a wall and began to add words and pictures around it to symbolize what she wanted for herself. It was a liberating ... ahhh haaaa! moment for me. What do I want...What do I want...I want. It kept ringing in my ears.

So today I got the gift of being selfish. If it was all about me...(and it is) what would I want. There might be something to consider about the people around me after that but it would come from a clarity of what I wanted.

I kind of had that day today. I spend the day at San Juan Batista a Mission near by. It was a rainy day and there were hardly any tourists visiting the mission. I got to look at everything alone. I took my time taking photos. It was bliss. Today I had the joy of doing exactly what I wanted and I felt energized and rejuvenated.

So that's the gift of being selfish...I get to take care of me and be rejuvenated.

PS. I've have this obsession with wings this year. I got the idea from my theme this year..."I need your contribution to accomplish what I want". (I'm still working on the wording for that...but you get the idea) I have been looking for a visual symbol and I kept getting guided to wings...like I cant fly with one wing. Like other people have my other wing to help me fly. So already I have seen these images of 2 big wings in the last 2 weeks. I took pictures to remind me...God's trying to tell me somethin'. LOL. :)

Intention
Pleasure

Today
Happy New Years!

I celebrated the new year at a wonderful resort with 2 great girl friends. We had a blast. There was magic and miracles in abundance. We got a room upgrade, special deserts and lots of tiny perks. We relaxed at the spa, spent time in nature, ate fine meals and multiple cocktails. It was deeeelightful!

My experience was a direct result of my intention to give myself the gift of satisfaction. I had a new freedom to ask for exactly what I wanted at the resort. It was a victory. I often associate asking for what I want as something others will find annoying, but you know what...when I asked for what I want, I got what I wanted. So it taught me to ask ... all they can do is say no. In this case they didn't.

In 2008 I learned that people want to make each other happy if they can, my job is to create opportunities for people to make me happy and they will do it or not. Do not get me wrong I look for opportunities to make others happy too but most of my attention all my life has been on making others happy. I have to try...put my attention on...sometimes force myself to allow others to make me happy...and show them...invite them...allow them to make me happy.

It is something I have struggled with at times in my life. I often pull back if someone makes me feel bad for asking for what I want...but lately people can say what ever they want and I still ask for what I want. Other peoples opinions don't impact me the same way anymore. I realized how far I had come in the last 2 days at the resort. I am delighted and I am proud of me.

Intention
Celebrate with family

Today
Merry Christmas! Today is Christmas day and we had a wonderful meal and opened presents. It was really low key and happy. We talked to all the family on the phone and checked in with everyone.

This trip I intended for miracles and it is happening pretty quickly now...for example when we called my brother he was just picking up the phone to call us. WOW! Then asked my mother when my other brother's would be coming for dinner and then the phone rang...it was him. Later I was talking to my mom about my cousin and I wanted to call her to see how Christmas was going in NY. I went to my phone and she had just left me her home phone number to call her. It gives me goose bumps just thinking of it now. We don't see each other ofter but boy do we have a deep soulful connection. I love it. I am blessed!

I guess by staying open to miracles I am getting how blessed I am.

I loved my gifts...Starbucks certificate, poetry books, financial books, some beauty stuff. I love it. But what I love more is spending time with family. Christmas this year is such a joy.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 27

Intention
Play ... I was a kid once!

Today
My brother and I paid for a fancy scanner for my dad for his birthday a year ago. This year my brother set it up and started scanning old photos of my dads. I found a few slides of myself as a kid. I dont remember this event but I know I was there...there is a photo. I was a kid once.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 26

Intention
Allow myself to be taken care of.

Today
I'm sitting in my old bedroom (which is now an office). I used to dream and create in this room. It was like my little apartment. I used to love opening the windows on a spring day to smell the freshly cut grass. I painted the room baby blue. When I was in College my brother painted it white and its been that way ever since. I'm a self confessed neat freak. I like things in order and clear of clutter. This room is now filled to the brim with stuff. I want to toss is out and make it "nice". Its not my room anymore. Its my parents office and they have a right to have it anyway they want. I cant help but want it to be another way. A way with less stuff and more things they love and use. but that is not my call. So I resist it but I must let it go. Let them have their room the way they want it. Its not my room anymore. Its not my room anymore. Its not my room anymore.

I could be interested in how they want the room. Maybe they are happy with it? I never considered that?

I am so not used to just sitting down and relaxing...I have to fix something where ever I go...even if nothing is broken to fix. So let me just sit...nothing to do ... nothing to fix. Just sit. Ok......

I still want to do something...but I'm just going to watch that for a while and not try to change it.

100 Day Challenge + Season 7 + Day 25

Intention
Appreciating Miracles

Today
I am currently in an airport headed home for the holidays. I really enjoy spending time with my family. I live on one coast and they live on the other. I talk to them each week with out fail. But its still not the same as being there. I know I will never move home. My home is here on the west coast. So this year everyone is getting a webcam for christmas and a little tutorial on Skype. I am excited about the idea. Particularly the fact that my parents will be able to see my nephews (who also live out of town).

I've created with my friend Adi that our holiday will be the most fun, joyful, exciting trip of all time. Lots and lots of happiness, new traditions and joy. So I am watching for unexpected miracles. Little surprises that make this trip joyful and memorable.

Already miracles are happening. The cab came and it was a big clean cab van. I was so happy on the drive to the Airport. Then I found out my ticket was first class and elite travel. So I got to get on the plane first and sit in first class for the entire trip! Now I found a free wireless connection next to my gate...so I am working on stuff and I can hear my gate announcements.

So the week is starting out with a lot of magic and miracles. I am so happy and greatful about all of it...I appreciate it all!