Where are you?

NEW BLOG

For those of you looking for my posts. I'm currently posting on my new blog
"Creative Soul Sparks"

http://creativesoulsparks.blogspot.com/

I'm also posting weekly creative challenges on my Facebook community page at

The Red Dragonfly on Facebook

Lovin' Little towns...

I love a good day trip. There is so much history in sweet little towns. The little town of Niles is only 4 block long and 3 streets wide but it has such an amazing history. Charlie Chaplin had his first movie studio there and  the original theater where he would screen his movies...still stands. The town is now known for its antique shops but there is so much more there to love.

100 Day Challenge: Season 11 : Day 1

My favorite thing is seeing the beautiful designs the barista creates in my latte. 

My 100 Day challenge is about seeing what happens when we focus on the joy and beauty of life.  So today I notice the miracles the ways the universe/God/Goddess/Divine communicates through the language of beauty and joy. Lets see what shows up.

100 Day Challenge: Season 10 : Day 51

Intention
Create the New Year.

Today
Working out everyday has shaped my body in new ways. I've dropped 18lbs and I feel great. I went to the store to buy something new for an event and I was 2 sizes smaller. I feel great and I can see the difference. It make a difference to be supported in my weight loss. I had to trust my trainer...I had to let my boyfriend in on what I was up to. I needed to allow myself to be supported. Its working and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am 4lbs away from meeting my goal for December and it feels great

This next part of the journey is fascinating. Its been a while since I wrote in this blod. My boyfriend, personal hero, and best friend Andy found my blog. Not really found it since I wasn't hiding it but it marks a new chapter for me. In relationship I have 2 stories mine and ours. I have been spilling my story in these pages for years. But now in partnership I am reflecting on how this will impact my next story...the story of us. I am a ME and I am a WE. He's not a big fan of spilling your guts to the world in a blog. He supports my blogging but its not his thing...I get that completely. So its caused me to think about the power of privacy. Somethings need to remain private and for the most part I don't share everything about my life.

I like to share things in this blog that let you know we are all human. I like when people share that they read my story and didn't feel alone. I like hearing comments that let me know people are coming out of their shells and living life more fully because of something I might have shared. I want people to know its ok to be really who they are...no reason to hide. Anything you don't like ...take and action and change it. Don't dwell in the sadness or frustration. Move the energy some how. I write my blogs for you and for me... I still read over my  blogs and remember how far I have come in life. I see every turn. I mark every miracle. I love to see that. In the moments where life is dark I can always see the light in these blogs.

So this year is about creating my WE story that honors the sacredness of the WE and protects it like a precious gem. Its also about telling my ME story in ways that express who I am with nothing hidden.

100 Day Challenge: Season 10 : Day 1

Intention
Begin at the begining

Today
I declare that Season 10 is about acquiring my dream job and losing the weight I have always wanted to loose.

This season is about manifesting my dream job. Its about being apart of a team in bringing a product or service to market. To be passionate about the product or service and feel connected to those also committed to its success. I want to work for people who understand the importance of balance in work and in life. I want to be free to make a difference and provided all the support and resources necessary to get the job done. I want to feel joy coming in to work and I want to be excited about incorporating new ideas in to the solutions we design. I want the BEST of what I had at the previous company and more. I want to be surrounded by beauty and acknowledged for my contribution. I want to feel supported from every direction and excited to join the company in making a difference in the world. I want to relate to the product or service we are selling. I want to be compensated beyond my wildest dreams. Salary, bonuses, medical, dental, optical, 401k, stock options... the works.


I also want to continue to lose weight and discover ways to make this weight loss a part of my healthy lifestyle. I want to cook more healthy foods. I want to know how to order in a restaurant with ease. I want to learn about food and good food for my body. I want to take care of my skin and feel radiant every day.

Inspired Actions
- Do things that bring me joy. 
- Finish Dream Job requirements list

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 : Day 100 + 7

Intention

Get back in the game

Today

I realized that season 9 of my 100 Day Challenge ended on October 13th. I didn't know right away because I stopped blogging about it on day 81.  Life was happening and I just got distracted but because I have had this practice for so long...my spirit became restless when I was not doing it. I felt a bit like I was walking around in the dark...feeling my way around. When I get that way it always helps to clean up an area of my house...to make room for something new. It also helps to play beautiful music while I'm doing it and make the space as beautiful as I most possibly can. In the process I discovered I had stopped my 100 day challenge. So its time now to complete my season 9 and create season 10.

At the beginning of Season 9 was all about taking charge of my career and my weight loss journey. I declared on day one of season 9 that I wanted to take charge of my career and join a company as a permanent member of their staff. One month later my company ended my contract and I was really out there looking for something permanent.  When my contract ended I found out I could join a local gym and with all the specials and perks I got a personal trainer for 5 weeks. I lost 5 lbs and I am still losing. So be careful what you wish for you just might get it! I am grateful for season 9. I took a stand for my career and for my body. I learned so much in the process. I made a difference at the company and I'm glad I was there to make the impact I made.



This season I want to manifest my dream job. Something with the best of what I had at the previous company and more. I want great teams, lots of learning and creativity. I want to be surrounded my beauty and acknowledged for my contribution. I want to feel supported from every direction and excited to join the company in making a difference in the world. I want to relate to the product or service we are selling. I want to be compensated beyond my wildest dreams. I want to be compensated so well that I need to pinch myself to believe it. 

I also want to continue to lose weight and discover ways to make this weight loss a part of my healthy lifestyle. I want to cook more healthy foods. I want to know how to order in a restaurant with ease. I want to learn about food and good food for my body. I want to take care of my skin and feel radiant every day.

I am excited to begin season 10

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 : Day 81

Intention
Time fly's when you are having fun!


Today
So today I have been dreaming of the holidays. My favorite holidays are Valentine's Day, New Years, Halloween and My Birthday. There is something about those holiday's that excite me.

Christmas and Thanksgiving are great too. But Christmas seems like my mom's holiday...She has a whole way she likes us to celebrate Christmas..at home, together, lots of presents and food. We had some of the most wonderful Christmas' when I was growing up. I love her for that. She does that holiday proud with all the lights, decorations, gifts, food and community service. I give it up to her...she does it right.

Those holidays are wonderful but Halloween, New Years, Valentine's Day and My Birthday are mine. Halloween is coming up and I get really excited...I don't go for all that bloody death stuff..I like dressing up in costumes, candied apples, pumpkin carving and hot cider. I love a good hay ride and a chilly night. I love those haunted house events you go to with a group of friends and look around for goonies in the dark with a flash light. Actors jumping out with a scream and then laughter. It brings out the kid in me.

I remember getting all dressed up for Halloween as a kid and going door to door to trick or treat. Kids don't do that much anymore...the world has gotten too wild for that to work anymore. But I love that people still find ways to give their kids the experience of trick or treating. One office I used to work for would have kids come to trick or treat at the office and each cubicle would have candy to give out to the kids. We dressed up, they dressed up, we shared punch and cookies and we all had a great time.

My other great holiday love is New Years. Ahhh New Years. I like the getting all dressed up fancy and going out on the town. (There is a theme here about me liking holidays where I can dress up..hmmm) For the last few years we have always planned something last minute. Its a bit hard to plan for New Years...things are expensive or booked early. I got something in my email about a the Fairmont hotel in Banff Canada. It looks wonderful! I would love to go there for New Years.

So I'm in the holiday spirit already. :)

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 : Day 80

Intention
Knowing My Signature

Today
Ok I absolutely love fragrances. I mean I love them. Like if I could I would marry 4 or 5 of them and travel around the world. I love fragrance. For years I have been looking for the perfect signature fragrance. I found it once. Betsey Johnson made a fragrance in the early 90's that she sold only in her boutiques. I loved it. I would stop traffic. People would follow me to ask me what I was wearing. Then they discontinued it and off I went looking for a new fragrance.

At some point perfumes started to punctuate events in my life. Joe Malone Peach Honey Blossom was a fragrance that began as a recommendation from my esthetician ( who also loves fragrance) and I loved it right away. I remember wearing it at the Frida Kahlo exhibit in San Franscisco and a woman followed me through the gallery trying to get up enough courage to ask me what I was wearing. By the time she asked me she was so close to me smelling the fragrance I jumped when I heard her voice.

Fragrances are intoxicating for me. They bring back memories. I can still smell the perfume my mom wore when she used to go out to parties with my dad as a kid. She would kiss us good night and I remember the warmth and comfort of that fragrance.

I remember my first perfume in high school when I was finally allowed to wear perfume. It was Chantilly Lace. It was $5 for what seemed to be a gallon and I would splash it on every morning on my way to school. I can still see myself getting in my uniform and grabbing my books to be dropped off at school.

I remember watching old movies where women had perfume bottles with those long cords with the balloons on the ends...it think they are called atomizers. I remember wanting a dresser full of those to atomizers in crystal, blown glass and ceramic. I always imagined myself sitting at a dressing table...brushing my hair with a gold brush 100 times to make it long and finishing with a few sprays of perfume.

So today I went to Nordstrom's at lunch and spent a few minutes smelling the new fall fragrances. I have already fallen in love with Couture Couture by Juicy and Lola by Marc Jacobs.

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 : Day 78

Intention
Create a space for something new

Today
This weekend was wonderful. We did a bit of shopping and I'm got a bunch of things to organize my space. It seems like I'm doing that alot lately. Fall brings that on in me. I time to toss out the old and make room for new possibilities. My assignment with my current project is ending this week and I've been working hard to wrap things up. I also want to get my office set up so I can work on creating new projects. I will still be working on assignments for this client from time to time...but I'll be working from home. So Ive been researching organization systems and things to make my desk easier to clean off and give me the maximum space to work. I have tons of supplies...mostly because I buy things then forget I have them and buy more...so I end up with endless pens and scissors. I found this really cool thing at Micheal's that stores all your pens and stuff in one place and turns on this lazy susan thing. I think it may work to consolidate my 4 jars of pens and pencils on my desk.

If you have any tips for organizing your office or photos you can share for inspiration...I'd love to see it. I am always looking for ways to maximize my storage and have what I need at my finger tips. So share share share...I'd love to hear from you.

In the mean time I found this amazing site that helps me organize the entire house...
Fly Lady

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 : Day 63

Intention:
Good Friends do great things together

Today:
Wheew! Its been a long time since I wrote in this blog. Thanks for checking back for new things happening. This month has flown by...It was my birthday and then we are here. This week I'm off to work on some projects, get things done, move energy, visit friends, make the most of my time off.

One thing I'm learning is how powerful it is to share my faith and spiritual miracles that have happened in my life. People like to hear stories about manifestation. This blog was about sharing ... what I have been feeling...how I have moved through obstacles.. but some times I forget to tell the miracle. The result..the magic that all that "work" was for.

You know I have been working on my weight for quite some time. I have been really motivated and not so motivated. Its something I'm committed to having in my life but I keep feeling like I have failed in some way because its not done yet. Well this week I realized in the most successful weight loss times I have worked with someone one on one. One time I worked out with a trainer twice a week and then another time I worked with a nutritionist monthly. I need that one on one time to check in...and make something happen. So I shared this with my woman's group and tons of resources came flying in. Since then resources help has been flowing my way from all directions. Its wonderful. I'm not alone and I'm already seeing a difference in the scale. I opened myself to be helped, I got a response right away and I'm seeing the results Ive always wanted. This is the journey of a 1000 steps...one step at a time. I am unstoppable.

100 Day Challenge - Season 9 - Day 45

Intention
There is a miracle inside something that at first looks like a curse. The power is to recognize the miracle.

Mantra:
There is time and space for everything I want to do. I easily and comfortably release that which I no longer need in life. I am part of Universe and the Universe is abundant.

Today:

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 : Day 30

Intention
Stoke my desire with energy and power!

Today
I'm going to live in this intention for a while and see what happends...I'll report back later today!

100 Day Challenge : Season 9 : Day 22

Intention
Get Er Done!

Today
There a lot of things to finish up before my contract ends with my current company. Lots to do at home. Lots of projects to get wrapped up. New setup for projects after the contract ends. Things to do ...things to do and well....I just want to go home and sleep. I want to watch TV, let the laundry pile up, make a list and just look at it. I'm just keep'in it real people! There are times when I have a million things to do and I dont care to do any of them. So today I adopted a "gett'er done" policy. I am doing it...even when I dont WANT to but because I have a bigger committment than my feelings. Its like pushing a rock up a hill ... its going slower than I want but I am getting things done. I know it will all work out...I just need to keep going and give myself rewards here and there to make it worth it for me. So far so good.

100 Day Challenge: Season 9 - Day 1

Intention:
Commitment to Community and making a bigger contribution

Today:
Hey people! I haven't written in a while because I've been exploring silence. I needed the silence to find out what I wanted to say next. Sometimes that's what needs to happen in life...silence to give the muse a space to express herself.

I learned the power of silence several years ago. I had been very driven most of my life and about 7 years ago I looked up and realized I was not driven I was on auto pilot. I was not choosing my steps and was go through the motions. I got silent for a few months and when I came out I decided to leave my job to join a start up company and make the difference I wanted to make in a company. I created a wonderfully colorful life. I explored my interests in art, spirituality, and community service. I explored, tried new things, and discovered new places. I saw the contribution I was in life, the role I played, I learned about my unique contributions, I saw new possibilities for the life I wanted to live. I learned alot about what makes me happy in a career.

Well it became clear today that school is over and its now time to commit and get in the game. Its time to harness all that knowledge and master an area of focus in my career. Its time to stop being the student and be a leader. I have resisted that for far too long and now the universe is inviting me to take a bigger role. I am in an amazing relationship with a man I admire and adore and I feel I am not alone to take on what is next. I am set up, supported and ready to toss my hat in the ring.

I heard someone say once that "There are places in life where you want to be and then there are places in life that are calling you. " Well life is calling me in some amazingly wonderful and abundant places. As new as this all feels there is something vaguely familiar and I know what there is to do is to step out on faith. Well I am being asked to do that now.

So with the support of my community, my partner Andy and my family...I am looking for a permanent position in a technology company that utilizes all the skills I have cultivated over the years.

I'm ready.

Treasures at the Flea Market

Intention: Celebrate life in community.

Today Andrea and I went to the Antique Flea Market. We went looking for ephemera for art and journal making. I was up for some type of adventure and when Andrea asked me to join her I jumped at the chance. Then I remembered I needed to meet her at 5am to be there by 6am to get the best "stuff". I am not the morning person. I create my best stuff at night amongst the silence and the stillness of my home. Mornings are sleeping times, snuggle times, times to lay there and listen to my dreams. But I made a different committment this morning...a comittment to adventure and all good adventures start with a challenge of sorts. Mine was getting up and driving 20 min to meet Andrea for coffee and the hour drive to the flea market.

When we arrived everyone was setting up shop. There were old things and new things. There were big bins of junk and bags of cleverly disguised treasures. I am not the deal person so the first item I liked I paid full price with out haggling. By the end of the fair I was working my deals like a pro. I got glass jars from $15 down to $3.

I came home with a variety of goodies:
- Several vintage photographs of children for collage
- 3 glass jars to hold water for painting.
- Some large wooden stamps.
- Block printing letters for stamping
- Some door knobs for some CD drawers in my office.

I love each one...the are the treasures from my flea market adventure.

Intention
I feel great and I show it...so you know it!

Today
Today was great. I slept well and ate well and I'm satisfied. Lots of things happend today that might have disappointed me or lead me in a negative thought spiral...but I feel so good...so satisfied that many of these things seem fun or isolated to the person its coming from. There is a power here I have never felt before. A friend turned me on to a book called "the Diet Cure" and I have been adding the right vitamins and supplements to my diet and I feel way better. Even those things that would annoy me before...dont now. Its really nice.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 27

Intention
Patient Acceptance

Today
I went to meditation with a friend a few days ago. First I want to say how honored I was that he invited me to his sacred practice. I felt so welcomed and special. Second I want to share that I surrendered my " I know everything" mode and allowed myself to see everything newly and guess what ...I learned something. I remembered how powerful and simple meditation can be. I often don't meditate because I don't feel set up to meditate...my altar is not clear...my home is cluttered...I don't have enough time. I remembered all it takes is 5 min.

I slept great that night and I meditated on my own today ... at my altar with a fresh new intention. I sat there in front of the most sacred things I own and all the items I have collected for years and I listened to the sound of my breath. I listened to the sounds of birds. I listened quietly to the silence. I listened. Then the words came, the solutions came, the insights came. There was alot spirit needed to say and all was shared. I listened. I journaled.
It can be that simple...sit and listen...and the wisdom comes.

100 Day Challeng + Season 8 + Day 18

Intention
Giving up Overstanding

Today
I heard the word ... "Overstand" in a poem a friend wrote today. I began to think of all the places where "overstanding" got in the way of my ability to see...be a space for the manifestation of a solution. The wasted time spinning my wheels...figuring out...trying to capture something...get to the truth...or some explaination. The lack of forward motion while I tried to figure it all out...get to the bottom of...find a good reason for. I now have a word for all of that..."overstanding".

Now I can see there is power in knowledge...but "overstanding" can be a block to progress. So today. I am moving in my day...past "overstanding"...past hope... with an appreciating and joyfull anticipation of my goal. Bring a joyful space of recieving and giving Love.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 16

Intention
Being Powerful

Today
I got this message today from a co-worker. One of those joky jokes about how funny it is that women of a certain age look wrinkly, flabby, and nasty when they get old. As I read it I was struck with one thing...that is NOT my reality. It is not a given that I will age and look terrible in the process...deteriorating to this ugly blob of skin and boobs. That is not a given. I don't even think its funny to even give that point of view room in my space, my mind, my body, my anything!

Normally I would delete it...but today I didn't. I wrote a note back ...saying I reject that point of view and I gave and image of a woman who ages with grace and ease...Lena Horne! I was saying "Nope! that is not my point of view". The response was swift and funny. They wanted me to know it was a joke and why did I have to respond to everyone about it. Well...my love...because everyone got the message that being ugly older is some kind of norm and its not...at least not with me.

I may be over reacting but I mean it...some place you have to draw the line. You have to say...that is not the conversation for the life I am in. You can have what ever conversation you want for your life...but that is not my reality. I need you to know that. I am not going into agreement with you about it...I'm not participating in that...I reject that notion...and I mean it!

Here is what is really under my skin. I hate women putting themselves down. Its a big pet peeve for me. I hated it when I saw my mom and her sisters do it to each other as kids. I hate it when I see it among my girlfriends.

Here's the bottom line...Why do we support conversations for our own destruction? Would that message have spread through the internet if it was uplifting and powerful to women's body image? If it said ..I love my gray hair, my curvy hips, my mature face, I love me at any age? I don't think so! I think it made its way round because enough women relate to it to keep it moving. They see themselves in that. I am saying no...I don't see me in that and the buck stops here!

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 15

Intention

Have my clarity be the guide for my actions

Today

There is something about music that is so profoundly powerful for me. I have learned that when something speaks to me deeply I look up the lyrics. I know there is something in the lyrics that is speaking to me. I couldnt understand what the songstress was saying but the melody got me. I felt a connection...after reading these words I have a clue as to why this song is so powerful for me today.

Sit Still, and close your eyes
What’s behind the other door
No more silence, don’t kill this thing we got called love
Just searching for the perfect drug

When Love comes calling
Don’t look back
When love comes calling
Don’t look away

And I’m standing over here
Watching you over there
Smiling, happy, unaware
Oh, life is spinning round
You’re going underground, forgetting who we were
Let’s try and keep it just one more day

You take your love
And throw it all around
Like it’s nothing special
Just a sound
Let me say one more thing
I don’t think you realize
That a day is like a year sometimes

Intention
Being Forgiven

Today
Today I saw a way to do what I think is right to have everyone win. I offered the solution. I spoke up. I found my voice. I took the action and then went for a lovely walk in the woods with Christine. We stood in the middle of big old trees and made secret happy wishes. We looked closely at the tree bark, looked inside of old trees and took pictures of flowers. We talked out all of our daily, weekly , worldly stories until we could talk no more and suddenly we saw something new and freeing .. a new possibility. We were free and happy and grateful. Suddenly we began to celebrate the successes. We high-fived our victories. We laughed. We Laughed. We laughed. Suddenly we were out of the woods.

We ate at a wonderful vegetarian restaurant. The food was sooo delicious!

Today was a wonderful day!



Then I saw this news cast and I felt so inspired! Today is an extra special day.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 9

Intention
Good friends do great things together!

Today
I have been thinking about a documentary I saw on current tv about unusual jobs and they were featuring a woman called "Hoop Girl" who is a professional hoola hooper in San Francisco. I was facinated by her story of how she created an empire around making hooping hip. She talked about how when she is hooping she goes in to a trance state and really connects with the audience at her club performances. She called it "Hoop-gasim". Something within me resonated with that vibe. Something within me said a great big "hell YES".

It started me thinking. What is the question I want most to answer in my work with clients, my art and my legacy. What came back is a resounding "Self Acceptance, Self Appreciation, Self Cheerleading, Self Celebrating". I want all the things I do to provide for my clients an acceptance of themselves, you are who you are, you like what you like and you dont like what you dont like. I want people to accept that in themselves and the great wisdom that is for each person. I want to support them in navigating around the world that may not (at times) accept that. I want to support them in creating a world for themselves that appreciates who they are as they are and doesn't relate to them as who they are not.

That's why I love SoulCollage. Its the first modality that I have found that allows me to express who I am as I am and allows me to see the wisdom in the parts I called bad..not nice...evil.

100 Day Challenge + Season 8 + Day 5

Intention
Forgive and be confident

Today
I have been working through the pages of my franklin covey planner creating my goals for the next 12 months. It asked at the beginning who do I want to become and I realized that I want to be more forgiving...not really of other people..but towards myself. To accept my humanity and let it go when I am not perfect. There are a few things this week that came up that reminded me. I get to have my life go the way I want...and I can forgive myself for not being really graceful with people when I do that. Forgive myself for not pleasing everyone. That has been a challenge over the years. Where I am today is a really powerful place that I cant please everyone and I am someone who will try. It gets me all mixed up but that is human. I can forgive myself for being waaayyy to focused on making other people happy. That feels sooo freeing!

So here is a video about art and play and creativity. When I am creating I am free. I dont care what people think. I do it because it makes me happy. I dont care if I sell anything.. I dont care if people get it. I just create. When I have no more room I sell my work or give it way ...but I make room and buy more supplies and create more!